These are strange days. We have all suddenly woken up in a futuristic, sci-fi film where the world has been brought to its knees, not by a swarm of killer bees, giant rabbits or aliens from Mars, but by something we can’t see and don’t know if it’s there. It doesn’t seem real. But it is. TbtL closed, cinema and pubs closed… the Lake District closed! I’m even finding it difficult to muster a ‘Bah!’ things have gone so far.
But it’s nice to see some of those old games coming back like Supermarket Sweep and The Generation Game. I think the rules have changed a bit and certainly the prizes are very different. I never once remember toilet rolls or pasta being in the trolley or on the conveyor belt come to that. Ah, but of course we didn’t eat foreign food in those days, we’re much more sophisticated and European these days… oh, let’s not go there again.
I must get my hearing sorted out. I was in B&Q last week panic buying insulation and wondering why I was the only one who was preparing to adhere to the upcoming government advice about using it. I’ve been put right now though and have been self-isolated, (well it sounds like insulated), by the family along with a long list of things I said I would do when we moved back into BC post Desmond (strictly speaking it’s enforced isolation… in fact I think I’m being held hostage!).
But before I embark on the garden restoration, the mouse eviction, the ‘study’ renovation, the bedroom re-configuration and the decoration preparation, I have a plan to make the fells safe for everybody. What is needed is a two metre (that will be 1.094 yards in that post virus, post pasta world) grid system, whereby people can exercise freely and safely, simply by playing noughts and crosses or battleships out on the hills. It’s based on the motorway two chevrons rule, but similarly, if everybody joins in it will cause gridlock, quite literally, and someone will have to give in and step off the grid into isolation in order for anyone to move to the next square. I’m sure it would work and I’ve already started making my own 1.094 yd measuring stick which I have taken to wearing about the house as practise. There have been one or two kitchen accidents but both Mrs S and the SGG have become very adept at the limbo.
One last thought before I embark on my enforced labour, if the toilet rolls run out why not adopt the method used by that great self-isolator, Millican Dalton… air dry! Keep safe and if anyone gets too close shout “Bah Humbug!”